Do I really need him? Am I trying to save a sinking ship? He said it himself…..I’m weak. I’m not strong and I can crumble under anything. Like a piece of fucking feta cheese. Am I that weak that those words hurt me? Am I that pathetic that I can take every word he says to heart? Am I that afraid of losing him? Oh God, help me. Please, is this psychosis or love? Am I holding on because I have nothing else to hold onto? Last night should have helped me, but it did the opposite. Now I fear for our love. Now I fear for us. I fear for my sanity…. my hope….my life. He gave up so easily this time, like there was nothing to fight for anymore. God damn it, fight for us. And if you can’t do that, at least fight for me. Show me that I’m all you really want. I understand your view of yourself is distorted, but you’ve known all along how I feel about you. We truly have become one life. I look at you and see perfection. I see you sitting there, looking back at me with a smile on your face that you can’t seem to shake. I see us sitting on my bed as you pull me closer. I lean in and kiss you praying that the butterflies will stay contained in my stomach. I see that young love that has slowly kindled into an old, true love. I would not be here if it was not worth it. You’re worth it. You’re worth fighting for. We’re worth it. I’d fight to the end of the world if I could. Or am I the one preventing us from finally being happy? What if I’m the one keeping you from living life? Oh please, Lord, don’t let me lose him. Please make me feel better. Please show me that he is the one that makes me happy. Olivia, stop feeling so empty. Look alive….feel alive for him. Show him that you want this. Show him that this heavy heart means nothing. Show him that you’re the same. Accept that he’s changed for the better. Accept that he might not care as much anymore. Olivia, fight for his love. Make him want you again. Do anything; dye your hair, lose more weight….anything! Pretend to be happy for him. Fake a smile until you can get help. He thinks you’re FUCKING CRAZY. He wants you to see someone because he knows that he can’t help you anymore. God damn it, Olivia, what’s wrong with you? Cheer the fuck up; you’re losing him because of this! You can’t do this to yourself, you’re going to lose him, then lose yourself. For God’s sake, try! Try to make this work! Be fucking motivated for once in your pathetic life! This is your fucking soulmate. You’re supposed to fucking want to spend the rest of your life with him…fucking show it. Fucking prove to him that you want this more than ever. Don’t fucking pussy out. Show him that you’re still strong. Show him that you won’t crumble. Fucking prove it to him. Fucking show him. He’s fucking worth it.